Answers.

Psalm 30.


¹ I will extol You, O LORD, for You have lifted me up,
         And have not let my foes rejoice over me.
 ² O LORD my God, I cried out to You,
         And You healed me.
 ³ O LORD, You brought my soul up from the grave;
         You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.
         
 ⁴ Sing praise to the LORD, you saints of His,
         And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name.
 ⁵ For His anger is but for a moment,
         His favor is for life; 
         Weeping may endure for a night, 
         But joy comes in the morning. 
         
 ⁶ Now in my prosperity I said,
         “I shall never be moved.”
 ⁷ LORD, by Your favor You have made my mountain stand strong;
         You hid Your face, and I was troubled. 
         
 ⁸ I cried out to You, O LORD;
         And to the LORD I made supplication:
 ⁹ “What profit is there in my blood,
         When I go down to the pit? 
         Will the dust praise You? 
         Will it declare Your truth?
 ¹⁰ Hear, O LORD, and have mercy on me;
         LORD, be my helper!” 
         
 ¹¹ You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
         You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
 ¹² To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
         O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.


Life update to come soon.

Worthy.

You are the pearl of great price.

You are our reward.

You are worthy of all praise, all renown, all attention.

You are not just beautiful - but all beauty flows from you. Your nature is beauty.

Your delight is worth all our labors, our time, our thoughts, and our intentions.

You are the only pure and holy and righteous and true.

You are humble and have given all of yourself.

You are the faithful one.

You are the one we have been looking for.

You are worthy of the hidden things.

Your goodness and nature are so vast that we will spend eternity searching you out - and You are worthy of that too.

You are the only one worthy of eternity.

You are trustworthy - and so submission is a gift to us.

The joy of knowing you and seeing Your kingdom come is worth all the pain of getting there.

Update & Wedding - Clair & Jeremy.

Hello friends. Once again, our bloggy blog has been neglected. I've been in the process of developing branding for my new photo website, so I don't feel too bad. I am hoping to launch said new blog by the end of the summer/early fall. Something to be very excited about! New horizons and adventures.

Last month I had the privilege of photographing Clair & Jeremy's wedding. They were so sweet and their wedding day was full of joy and peace... I left feeling so blessed. Their families were so kind and hospitable. Clair decided on an all-white wedding - they wanted their wedding to exude purity and holiness, and it did. All the white details were just gorgeous. I loved how laid-back and gentle this couple was. Another thing I loved about this wedding was the flower girl, Clair's cousin. She has Down's syndrome and was totally the life of the party (something I can relate to - my brother has Down's syndrome as well, and also a charmer).

So without further ado...

Yes ladies, her dress had pockets...

Cheers to love!

Love lavished,

Autumn

Natalie & Tyler.

Hey friends. It's been a while.

My head has been swimming back and forth between orchestrating projects, packing boxes, and dreaming with Jesus. This season is full of grace and I can feel it. I feel that this is a time of transformation, a time to rest in His completed work and be continually beautified by the One who is drenched in love.

The husband dearest and I have been on our toes for the past few weeks. We are now (TADA!) moved into a house! Homeowners. Wow. We are amazed at the fact that we could even make such an investment. We have lots of space and, not to mention, some really adorable neighbors--the neighborhood kids who ride around on their bikes and frolic in the streets (I'm already in love... seriously).

Nevertheless. I've been working on many projects. This past week I had the absolute delight of photographing two friends and fellow Wesley interns, Natalie and Tyler, for their engagement photos. They were probably the easiest people I've ever had to photograph--they love each other and are at ease in front of the camera. I didn't have to say much... they pretty much acted like I wasn't even there. Which is perfect. I was a fly on the wall. And let's not forget, they are BEAUTIFUL. Their personalities and pretty eyes shine through in each photograph.

Natalie and Tyler are some of the most passionate people I know--not to mention, the most creative. Natalie is crafting pretty much their whole wedding, and she is a machine when it comes to making things (i.e. the bow in her hair--check her out on Etsy). Tyler is an amazing artist with so much depth. They are pursuers of justice and compassion. And I love that about them.

Here are a few shots from our time together.

I know, right?

Love,

Autumn

Show me Your glory.

This is my top song pick right now. "I long to look on the face of the One that I love." Our hearts long for that. That is the place of ultimate satisfaction: looking on the face of the One we love. The One who loves.

Jesus is so kind. Not nice, but kind. Gentle. In other words: He is good. I mean it. He's good.

Today I had the choice to be offended by God. But something I now know is that, when we allow ourselves to be offended by Him, we are keeping ourselves from blessing. Because Jesus said, "Blessed is he who is not offended by Me." When His light conflicts with our darkness... it offends us. But it's because He loves us.

I just started going through Revelation with my girls, and in the first five chapters alone I have learned so much about the Lord. The truth of who He is is shaking me. When Jesus tells John what to write to the seven churches, it is one of the most beautiful things. Jesus is saying, "Tell my Bride this: That I see her perseverance, her faith, and her desire for truth. But tell her that I am jealous for her, that I hate her compromise and her immorality, her deadness and apathy. Tell her that if she overcomes, she will reign with Me for eternity. Tell her that if she overcomes, I will give her a new name; I will give her glowing white garments. Tell her that if she overcomes, I will spend eternity telling her story of love to the Father." He is essentially telling John to write zealous love letters to His Church. When you read Revelation and put yourself in the event of John's encounter, it's impossible not to feel the drama of His love as He speaks.

Jesus didn't care about pleasing everyone around Him, but He did care about loving them. Today the Lord spoke something to me that I almost chose to be offended by... but I decided to choose Him instead. Honestly, that's a big step for me. And I'm glad I trusted Him. If I'm learning anything, it's that He's trustworthy. We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weakness--Jesus knows us, sees us, and is not offended by our mess.

Transformation is happening.

For several weeks I have been contemplating Moses' face-to-face encounters with God, how when he came back down Mt. Sinai he was glowing because he had beheld the very face of the Lord. How the Lord talked to him as a friend. I feel God speaking this over me and releasing me into divine friendship with Him as I lay myself down before Him.

Recently I've realized how much we over-spiritualize things with Him. We assume that it must be very complicated to behold Him, to fix our eyes on Him. With our complicated theologies and hypotheses we put layer upon layer of obstacles between Him and ourselves. The Lord is tearing this down for me.

This past Thursday a local evangelist (whatever you want to call him) came to our staff meeting. He spoke and prayed for us. I felt things begin to shake in me and in the Body as we prayed very daring and worthy (and eccentric) prayers. I felt myself begin to loosen my grip on anxious feelings about appearance and what people thought of me. I felt myself letting go and abandoning myself to the One who is worthy. If I had cared about what people thought in those moments (or even more so, what I thought!), I would have been very embarrassed. I was a fool in His arms. I was experiencing the joy and intimacy that comes with laying down intense self-awareness and trading it for Heavenly-Father-awareness.

So that was my glimpse of freedom. I tasted and I saw, and now I can't help but go after Him more. I know a lot of times we seek encounters with God, and our motives may or may not be pure. Something my discipler said two years ago that still resonates within me: "If you're going to go down, come up changed." Encounters for the sake of encounters will not transform us. But encounters for the sake of knowing Him will.

Update: Six Months.

Well, it's been six months since our wedding day.

We are really excited about that; marriage is only increasing in beauty and awesomeness for us. We have learned so much about ourselves and (naturally) each other. I know both of us can say that we love each other even more today than we did on July 24. All I know is, I'm glad he's still my boyfriend and fellow nerd.

The past months have been incredibly full for us--and I mean that twofold; we have been up to so much, and we have been eagerly tasting the abundant life.

I am honestly amazed. The Lord is turning my heart upside down, and I'm not alone. It's happening to this whole city. The Bride in Athens is flourishing as she encounters the Father's heart. I haven't seen anything like it before. The past couple months alone have been marked by beholding the beauty of God and being completely transformed by it. We are learning that changing the world isn't about trying to correct human behavior; it's about the transformation that comes from being face-to-face with God and experiencing His character, His personality. So that's what we do. We lead people into that face-to-face moment. We speak His truth, His thoughts, and His feelings.

A couple of weeks ago I was leading a prophetic room with two other interns (husband included). This one girl came in and I'll never forget it, because you could just see her brokenness and, consequently, her deep longing to be affirmed. So we began to hear the Lord's heart for her and it was incredible. We could have told her, "Stop messing up," or "You know what you're doing is wrong," but that was not the fullness of the Father's heart. The fullness of His heart was that He had revolutionary hope for her and an extraordinary romance that nothing else could possibly provide. We began to speak Song of Songs over her, that even in her darkness God calls her lovely and beautiful, that he draws her with gentle cords. We began to speak that God wasn't okay with what had happened to her in the past, with the ways people had hurt her. We began to speak dreams over her, that she would receive back the things that had been taken from her. It was beautiful; and it was all true. Hope was all over her. I watched this beautiful girl begin to unfold. At first she would barely lift her head or look us in the eye. By the end of it she was less afraid.

I know it was only the beginning, but in those moments I realized our power as believers. That light IS more powerful than darkness, and it doesn't need to raise its voice to be heard. Jesus did not need to be loud (Isaiah 42:2 - "He will not cry out or raise His voice, nor make His voice heard in the street").

And that's just a glimpse. I am touching the surface of Love. And once you touch the surface you are enthralled.

With each lovesick gaze we are unleashed.

And honestly, it is incredible to me that when we turn toward Him and listen and lay ourselves down before Him... we begin to hear His thoughts and feel His emotions. Excuse the punctuation... but seriously now?!?!?!!? This actually happens, every day.

I am convinced that without knowing Him, there is no way to truly live. And that is a truth I'd lay my life down for.

Other logistical things:

• Eric & I are contemplating what next year will look like for us. I'm planning on coming back to Wesley for a second year; Eric will probably be full-time at Best Buy, and he's pondering his place at Wesley for next year.
• I've booked two weddings (exciting!).
• As soon as I come up with a name, the photography thing is a go.
• I will experience my first time in the hospital delivery room (and with a camera) in less than two months with the Kirklands.
• We have some other dreams up our sleeve. More to come.