Abba.

Abba... we belong to you. You are the only one I want to belong to. I love the way you wrap your arms around me. I love the way you love me. I love that the only thing that can transform me is you who are love. Captivate my life for this one thing, for love himself, the man Jesus. I am your sweet perfume spilled out to this broken world.

Words.

remember the day when you woke up my soul
pulled back the sheet and untied the rope
cut my sheet into a dress
unashamed of my nakedness



ha. you sing all the right songs and say all the right words, the ones my heart needs, the desert places. all the things i loved you made them for us. your hand salve on my wet face my bloody chest a heart escaping running away i won't let you leave. scraping past all the people blank faces say that you see me say that you see me THAT IS MY NAME. change my lungs. so as not to be offended please come. breathe with me as one, move me and crowd me with your jealous wind of love. help me love you more than the pain. make the joy deeper than the pain. take away my map so i can lose myself in you. caused to waste my life on your eternal embrace or settle for the least.

turn my eyes from usefulness and back to the beauty of being with you. that i am meant to be seen and not to be burned. gently when you tear open all the things that have been bandaged with paper. dissolve me with your kisses. lead me back to the house where i lived. lead me back.

Destiny.

Do what you were made to do. Jesus has been dropping you hints.

Breathing.

Just a quick little update.

I have a full plate of design projects right now--some t-shirts and cards and things. We also just had our Wesley Fundraising Dinner last Friday, which was just beautiful and wonderful and lovely. Please check out the video that Brian Davis--the guy who photographed our wedding--put together for the dinner.

God is giving me greater vision for a creative business. I'm closing my eyes and setting a goal: to have the name for it, and a website up and running, by June. By then I will have put together a strong portfolio to get things ready for the second wedding I'll be shooting in the summer. I have a trial business card sitting in front of me on the screen. I highlight the text and delete it and control Z and retype and retype, mulling through different names and dreams and pictures. Stars don't erupt before my eyes, although it's like I'm waiting for that. Nevertheless... He'll give me something. He'll give me a name and a dream for whatever this will be.

Alas. It is all small.

All I really have right now is that God is good. I am clinging to this truth, knowing that all my questions won't be answered, that all my thoughts won't be sorted into nice little lines on bookshelves, organized by title and subject and answer. Right now all I come back to is "Be still, be still."

We love you guys. Be still.

Autumn

Kirklands Part II.

Just a couple more photos of the boys with their mama.

Life through our lens. And lots of dreams.

Dangerous: I learned how to make pumpkin spice lattes.

We had Wesley Fall Festival for our leaders, and it was loads of fun. And loads of mess...

Quote from my dear Rebekah Siwy: "Autumn, if I couldn't go out and have coffee with Jesus... I don't know if I could do life"--referring to the fact that the Gospel is GOOD NEWS, that the Lord is fun, and His calling is not just a bunch of heaviness.

I continue to be a food snob for some meals. My grilled cheese will eat your grilled cheese alive. Swiss/cheddar + apple + bacon on wheat. This means the harmonious, crisp bite of apple combined with delectable morsels of cheese slices and the savory crunch of bacon. With grilled apples on the side. A SYMPHONY. Please come over so I can make this for you.

Eric and I are making Farmers' Market adventures a weekly tradition. This week: okra. Yes, my friends, okra. (Just a little glimpse into my life: back where I'm from, we have an annual festival DEDICATED to okra. Please put it on your bucket list.) Did you know that, when you cut okra, it excretes a substance eerily comparable to snot?

In the meantime, I'm researching pregnancy photography.

Right now I am overwhelmed by all the things God is revealing to me. I am truly learning how I was made, and what it means that I am a new creation. I think the thing that is blowing my mind about it right now is that living supernaturally isn't this army-crawl kind of lifestyle separate from ourselves; it is who we are and who were made to be, and it should be natural. That's why the word "natural" is in there. We really try so hard to be what we already are. Now, because God has given me His spirit and has made me new, I am by nature an atmosphere-changer--whether I like it or not, and whether I steward it or not. Mmm, I love this truth, friends.

Last week I felt I heard the Lord say that I have not been dreaming big enough. His words both surprised me and made me smile; so I'm asking for more dreams and pursuits, and finding the grace to steward them.

Eric is learning to experience God in everyday life. Something I really admire about him is the way he doesn't limit the Lord to his surroundings. I just love his friendship with the Lord.

What you can look forward to with us:

• Some experimental creative writing posts...
• Pictures with PEOPLE in them.
• Former posts updated with photos.
• Less information... more heart.
• Welcome.

The Kirklands: Love & Honor.

Today I had the pleasure of photographing Fields and Cannon with their mama.

Deborah and her husband did our pre-marital counseling and are both directors at Wesley. They are incredible people and I love their creativity. They are truly raising their family in the heart of God, and it is encouraging and challenging to me since Eric and I are now a family. Long before we have kids, we want to raise them up on a firm foundation--not a religious or legalistic one, but one of integrity and love. Whenever Fields would go astray, Deborah would call him back and say, "Let's honor and obey, Fields." I love seeing parents honor their kids and give them a chance to do the same.

Here's a sneak peek of our little adventure, sans Clay. But you'll probably see a bit of him later, since I'm doing an ongoing project with Deborah and her growing belly.

You gotta love the godzilla-baby-coming-for-the-camera moment.

More to come.

How to run in your weakness.

The past few weeks have been messy... and beautiful.

Here is some catch up over the last week:

1. We had dinner with Lamar and Althea. It was wonderful--so lovely getting to know them, not to mention the fact that the food was amazing. They told us a really ridiculously funny about one of our neighborhood cats... one of which can ring doorbells.
2. I went on a retreat with the Freshman ministry and was honored to witness so much freedom in students' lives--community and an unplanned 5-hour worship set. But more than that, the Lord planted seeds and something really started there.
3. Eric and I are really knowing each other more and more. We are in the process of learning what it means to lay our lives down for each other and have hearts of compassion toward each other.
4. We are truly witnessing God's work here at Wesley. There is a lot of inner healing going on in the Body right now. The Lord in His grace and love is showing the wounds we have ignored and hidden from ourselves, and with His hands He is spreading his salve of love on those wounds. I am learning that in my deepest weakness, I don't have to muster up strength; but He is truly strong in my weakness. I have been so used to this "fix-it" mentality where everything has to be in one piece, not trusting it's the Father's job to heal and mend and form me.
5. God is converting our hearts!

Pumpkin-flavored dreams.

We are totally soaking up this season... yes, it's my favorite. Yes, I am biased. Yes, autumn IS the best month.

Why?

One word: leaves.

Three words: The AC is OFF.

Five words: Sleeping with the windows open.

Wow, I hope you can recover from how random that was.

So on this end, we have been pondering our dreams. Eric has been rethinking his and I have been curiously musing upon mine. And speaking of those, here are some more designs I have been working on.

The wedding celebration continues...

For our wedding, I asked my good friend Jenna Walker from photojournalism class to be a photographer. She is amazing and just posted a link with some of those photos, which came out wonderfully. You can check them out at her website, Jenna Marie Photography.

The depths of His Presence.

I am so enjoying getting to know the Lord and just sitting in His Presence. It is so satisfying and fulfilling. I think I am finally understanding, truly, that being with Him is not about getting things done; it's about moving to the rhythm of His heart. I think about how, under the Old Covenant, if people other than the High Priest went into the Holy Place, they would die. Seriously. They would die. God resided in an ark. Why? I don't really know. But what I do know is that we have total access to His presence now, and that blows my mind.

I think part of the process of making our house a home is just this--to meet Him there instead of only feeling that He is accessible at a place like Wesley. When Eric and I anointed our house we prayed that our house would be a place where people can feel the Spirit when they walk in. That because of the fact that the presence of God resides in us, there would have a tangible and noticeable effect on the atmosphere of our home.

Sabdate (Sabbath-Date).

Today neither of us had work, which is rare--a full, free day for both of us.

1. We woke up to the heavens being unleashed upon the earth via a crazy torrential downpour.
2. We played on the Wii.
3. We realized that the rain was free water that we could wash our car with, so we put on our bathing suits and did just that.
4. We went and got coffee (pumpkin spice latte--all the feelings of fall combined into a delectable sensation in your mouth).
5. We went crazy-mega grocery shopping.
6. We made herbed feta-pesto potatoes and had some leftover tomatoes, so we decided between these recipes:

-Roasted tomato-basil soup
-Greek tomato balls
-Double tomato bruschetta
-White beans with roasted tomatoes
-Roasted tomato, cream cheese & basil tarts
*Basil tomato soup

And made some basil tomato soup. Delicious. So delicious that we licked our plates clean (I wish I only meant that metaphorically).

Today Lamar rang our doorbell and invited us to his home for dinner next week. After Eric and I had donned our bathing suits in the neighborhood and whatnot and explained our cleaning intentions to his sweet wife Althea... well, needless to say, I was thankful that we were invited to dinner. We are really excited about it. I can't wait to hear their story and bless them with love and baked things.

Pictures of the day to come later. For now, go and get yourself a pumpkin spice latte or other variation of a hot pumpkin drink, sit in a pile of leaves and be thrilled that autumn is meteorologically (aka in the weather) approaching within the next couple of weeks. And please make sure you share these moments with dear friends. Because let's just be honest: you need them and they need you.

Affection, friends. Truly though.

Girl with her starry-eyed adventures.

Today I had the absolute joy of meeting up with a Cola* friend in Atlanta today (*important note for all you non-natives: Cola is code for "Columbia, SC").

Please just take a satisfying breath and meet my dearest friend, Laura.

We have been good friends since high school and she is absolutely covered in some sort of crazy musical grace. And I mean, it's not what I love about her most or anything... but I definitely feel cool knowing her.

Today she and a buddy Jason were recording some sweet new jams. It sounded brilliant and beautiful. Honestly, they put together some really legit music. So I was spoiled to witness it and play around in the booth for a few minutes.

Gosh it was just glorious. Good friends and good music.

The Lord spoils me like it's ridiculous. He's such a great Dad. Without a doubt he handpicked the people I get to share life with.

On that note, I'm working on becoming more of a daily photojournalist. I just want to capture life and glue my camera to my body (except not). I'm also pursuing writing more diligently and pondering the beginnings of some Etsy endeavors. This is Greek for "I'm hoping to start designing and selling journals."

As far as the heart... Jesus is taking me back to something simple, which is love. More on that later.

Well, Eric and I are in bed now. He's reading Harry Potter. 'Nuff said. (Good night friends.)

Testimony: God is good.

One of our favorite parts of our internship at Wesley is just spending time with the staff, especially during Thursday staff meetings. It's our last "workday" of the week and we share what the Lord has done, what we think He is up to, and even stand before each other and confess that we are broken and need each other's prayers. I think it has now officially become Family Time... and that resonates deeply within me.

Every week it blows me away. Every week there is testimony of healing, words of encouragement, the Lord speaking and breaking through the darkest places with His promises. I can't describe how amazing it is to live in a place where the kingdom is actually breaking through from heaven to earth. We have not arrived, but we are seeing Him. He is bringing us to the core of what it means to be rooted and established in love. He is uprooting the things He did not plant, and shaking us free of what hinders.

Projects.

This past week I have been working on a couple of design assignments, both for Wesley.

The freshmen ministry is starting a new series on God's global mission--His heart and plan for mankind from the beginning to the end of time. I'm excited for the desires and passions that the Lord will awaken in the students. Majorly excited. I love the nations.

Here's the evolution of the logos.

The country shapes are actually a typeface called GeoBats, and that is the template I started with.

This logo is more contained, specific, and informative, but when I started the project I had only a little information to go off of. I met up with Stephen (Freshley director) and he gave me the vision for what we wanted, so now we have this:

Yeah, pretty big difference. Replacing Algeria with the U.S. makes the countries more recognizable--since we naturally recognize our own country pretty immediately.

As for now, I'm hoping to finish the draft of the first Wesley newsletter of the year. To be continued.

I love my job.

Other projects:

1. Cover our walls in photos and art.
2. Ongoing photography projects: photograph a pregnancy, door project, Wesley project
3. Produce stop motion art films
4. Building photo website, picking out a name, so Eric can get the server up and running
5. Rebinding hardcover journals
6. Learn to sew
7. Conceptual design

More tom foolery to come.

"They taste like I KNEAD them."

Today was labor day.

Husband and I didn't really labor, and it was amazing. We had a day-long date and at one point, driving back home, I told Eric, "This has been one of my most favorite married days."

Why, you ask?

Well, for one, my love language is quality time. And our day went as such:

1. We slept in. Then we woke up. And made these delectable whole wheat biscuits:

(The quote in the subject line is what Eric said after he ate them.)

2. After deciding that we didn't really want to drive to Amicalola or Tallulah, we realized we really just wanted to ride our bikes.

The problem is, we only have one (for now).

So we took turns riding around our cul-de-sac.

3. After riding around our cul-de-sac, this was our conversation with our neighbor Lamar:

Lamar: You have only one bike too?

Us: Yeah, only one right now.

Lamar: I told my wife, "We should do it like in my country," because in my country a man rides on his bike with his son and his wife!

Lamar is from Guinea, his wife is from Florida, and they have a newborn baby boy. I don't think they've caught on yet to the fact that I am in love with them and have had an intense desire for the past month to cook for them. As we were chatting and were finding out more about Lamar's family, we said that we need to eat together soon and talk about our lives. I am eagerly anticipating this day more than they know, I think. They are just really kind and interesting people, and I can feel the love of God welling up within me and spilling out for them.

4. We went to the free zoo at Memorial Park. The baby bears are adorable. And after walking by the ex-owl exhibit we concluded that somebody cut through the owl's former habitat (aka a fenced cage) and set it free.

5. Not long after, we ran some quick errands, then got Starbucks. Eric paid for mine with his own allowance money (yes, allowance)! Haha, but seriously, it blessed me because it was one of our first married dates, and he really didn't have to pay, because now we have the same bank account.

"So you're a NEWLY newlywed."

Welcome friends, family, strangers, and stalkers.

Life has been nonstop (what a surprise! You mean it keeps going?) for the past month and a half for us--a heaping handful of transitions all at once. Me--I'm the deep emotional one, so I'm still trying to process all of it. Meanwhile, Eric--the deep logical one--is floating by without much of a blink. He is one of the chillest people I know, and can be so unaffected by change. His joy strengthens and encourages me, pushes me forward when I would rather grieve the former season--the one where I didn't have to work, had more time with friends, and didn't have to pay my own bills.

But this is a good season. Such a good season. I am being so refined and I feel like I'm letting the Lord take me deeper.

So here's the basic summary of our past few months (with pictures!):

1. A wedding happened.

2. It was our wedding.

3. We honeymooned to Charleston and stayed at the most ridiculous hotel ever, where they spoiled us until we cried. And by spoiled I mean, wine and cheese every night, chocolates on our bed every day, breakfast in a picnic basket every morning.

(That's my husband. He's pretty spectacular. And handsome.)

4. We came back to a sea of presents, opened them, and are now waiting for the gnomes to finish our thank you cards. (But for real... we're sending them out soon.)

5. We started work as full-time interns at the UGA Wesley Foundation a few days after our honeymoon. Eric works with the administration staff and the healing prayer team; I work with the freshman and prayer ministries and help with the newsletter.

6. Eric has been working at Best Buy for several months, and I just started working at Borders. I am pretty much in love with the people I work with. They rock.

Currently I am thinking of how good the Lord is, the amazing ways He has been speaking to us, and the fact that I had the best conversation today with my beloved 60-year-old coworker (Kathy, you are the BOMB) about NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys.

You're right, this picture is pretty irelevant. That's my husband again. Ever since marriage happened these faces have become a lot more frequent. I'm also posting this, hoping he won't notice, as payback for the picture he previously posted as his desktop background--see below.

Alas, we love you. We hope you'll join us as we live a very full life together. Love-full, joyful, peaceful, powerful.

Love lavished,

Autumn (& Eric... once he finds out his silly mug is all over this page)

*Wedding photos courtesy of Brian Davis @ bdavismedia.

**Eric just held up a white board with our thank-you note homework schedule. He had a toothbrush in his mouth. Just thought you should all know.

***Feedback: Eric wonders if above picture of himself is inappropriate. Thoughts?