Transformation is happening.

For several weeks I have been contemplating Moses' face-to-face encounters with God, how when he came back down Mt. Sinai he was glowing because he had beheld the very face of the Lord. How the Lord talked to him as a friend. I feel God speaking this over me and releasing me into divine friendship with Him as I lay myself down before Him.

Recently I've realized how much we over-spiritualize things with Him. We assume that it must be very complicated to behold Him, to fix our eyes on Him. With our complicated theologies and hypotheses we put layer upon layer of obstacles between Him and ourselves. The Lord is tearing this down for me.

This past Thursday a local evangelist (whatever you want to call him) came to our staff meeting. He spoke and prayed for us. I felt things begin to shake in me and in the Body as we prayed very daring and worthy (and eccentric) prayers. I felt myself begin to loosen my grip on anxious feelings about appearance and what people thought of me. I felt myself letting go and abandoning myself to the One who is worthy. If I had cared about what people thought in those moments (or even more so, what I thought!), I would have been very embarrassed. I was a fool in His arms. I was experiencing the joy and intimacy that comes with laying down intense self-awareness and trading it for Heavenly-Father-awareness.

So that was my glimpse of freedom. I tasted and I saw, and now I can't help but go after Him more. I know a lot of times we seek encounters with God, and our motives may or may not be pure. Something my discipler said two years ago that still resonates within me: "If you're going to go down, come up changed." Encounters for the sake of encounters will not transform us. But encounters for the sake of knowing Him will.